Why "Staying True to Yourself" Might Be Holding You Back

When generative AI can make us all sound quite clever based on just a few clicks: it's easy to understand the value of true authenticity. Staying true to who you are, and trusting who you are and what you bring, has currency in the workplace and at home. And it just makes you feel good.

The problem occurs when "being authentic" turns into "staying the same." The leader who built their reputation as the decisive one keeps being decisive long after the room needs something else from them. The one known for having all the answers keeps supplying answers even as the demands of the new role shift toward asking better questions. They're not stuck because they lack the skill to change. They're stuck because changing feels like self betrayal. “I should not try to be “that person, I am me, and being me is what got me to where I am”.

The paradox researchers found

Herminia Ibarra, a professor at London Business School, studied this directly and called it the authenticity paradox. Her finding: the moments that feel most fake are often the clearest sign of real growth. Leaders stepping into bigger roles almost always feel like impostors at first, because they're practicing behaviors that don't fit the old self-image yet. The ones who wait to feel "authentic" before acting differently never move. The ones who act first, and let the sense of self catch up, do.

Authenticity isn't a fixed thing you protect. It's something you build, one stretch at a time.

The leaders who grow fastest treat "who I am" as a working draft.They learn to understand and then change the stories they tell themselves that in turn define who they are,  differently as a tool for change and growth.

The real question: Not "how do I stay true to myself", but "which version of myself does this next chapter need?" That's not about faking it. It's about deciding, on purpose, who you're building.

The Take Away For Leaders

Let’s have a conversation and we’ll map out the gap between who you are today and who your next role is asking you to become. We will work through practical steps you can take, to build new habits, model new behaviors and eventually build the new version of you.